Wednesday, October 21, 2015

I am Not #InstgramWorthy, and I'm Perfectly Fine with That

Yesterday morning I woke up, made a cup of organic, fair-trade coffee, poured it into my Anthroplogie "H" mug, and sat down at a white, non-cluttered, well-lit desk, with a small vase of peonies to write in my Lilly Pulitzer planner and Rifle Paper Company journal. Then I got dressed in a perfectly-styled, very expensive, designer outfit, put my hair in a top knot and headed out to the market (market, not grocery store). Of course I brought along a canvas bag and bought a loaf of French bread that sticks out the top, with more flowers and maybe some produce. Obviously someone photographed all of this with a high-quality camera and maybe some lighting, and then I spent a couple hours editing those photos before sitting down by a fire with knee-high socks and a cashmere sweater. It's #fallyall (colored leaf emoji), so I hashtagged that a couple dozen times and talked about being cozy and doing pumpkin-y things on Instagram before falling asleep in my bed decorated with 42 throw pillows and coordinated pajamas.

Of course I did not do ANY of that. But somewhere out there thousands of fashion bloggers did, supposedly. Just another day in the life! I, on the other hand, woke up and rushed to a spin circuit class, ate yogurt in the car on the way there, stopped by Smoothie King, took a shower and went to work. None of it was cute or Instagram-worthy.

And speaking of Instagram, I finally joined it on a whim, quite possibly the last person on earth to do so. I had resisted for a couple reasons. Mostly because I just do not need one more social media account. It takes enough time trying to maintain a professional Facebook page in addition to my personal one, and I admit, I don't do that great of job at it. Plus, I have my Twitter account that I use personally and professionally. Also Pinterest, if you count that. I tried Snapchat, but that was way too confusing. And because of the nature of my job in live television, I'm sure Periscope will become a necessity in the future. It's all quite time-consuming and conducive to procrastinating. But besides that, the pretentiousness from some people on Instagram drives me crazy! Yes, it happens on Facebook, too, but it's worse on Instagram. Just how beautiful can I make this #PSL look? How can I perfectly photograph this muffin? Where's the closest tree-lined street for this #OOTD pic?

I will say the worst offenders of this phenomenon are fashion bloggers, and, I know, I can easily choose not to follow them on Instagram. I can barely stomach their blogs because they're all so cookie cutter and perfect-looking. I can't tell one apart from the other.  I guess for many of these people, this is their full-time job, so they can spend two hours staging a perfect breakfast. But that's just not my thing.

When I started blogging, I never aspired to be a "fashion blogger." If I was going for that, my blog would look nothing like it does. I would likely have to quit my job to have a enough time to curate a photographically-pleasing life. And I would have to be a lot more, um, fashionable. This is not to knock fashion bloggers. They look damn good most of the time, and every once and awhile I peruse their pictures for style inspiration. Plus, I'm sure it takes a lot of commitment and technology smarts to get noticed. The internet is freaking huge, it's basically a black hole, so if you have figured out a way to stand out among the crowd, you're obviously doing something right. I just probably won't follow you on Instagram. And you probably won't care because you already have 14,000 people double tapping the heck out of your #starbucksrun photo.